SPEAKER_01: 0:33

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Unengaged Podcast. It took a lot of manifestation. I truly was not thinking that I was going to get it to be honest. I was like, it's going to come on time. Don't worry. I was like, I know it is like you're meant to go on this trip. I literally just threw things in an envelope and just kind of like let go and let God, you know what I mean? Like, you know, like whatever happens is going to happen. Yeah. And I came in early actually. So I had time to like actually settle my appointments, get all my things done and start shopping. Let's see if Mexico is ready for you. She's never been out of the States. So Yeah, it's going to be fun. It's going to be so fun. I'm excited. I'm excited to go just relax and just kind of like take some time to just like unwind. I feel like this is going to be a very relaxing vacation. Yes. And that's what I need. Yes. I think Scottsdale was a little different. Like we were kind of in party mode, going out mode, doing things mode. And this vacation is going to be more relaxing. I know you guys are probably so sick of hearing about our vacations. But this is the year like we both talked about it. We talked about it at the end of last year, how this was going to be the year of travel and saying yes. And so that's what we've been doing. We've been saying yes. We didn't even think about it. Our friend had asked us for her birthday, our friend Katie, about the trip. And she was like, I'll book it. She's like, you guys just send me the money. She's like, I already have the hotel picked out. I have the dates, everything. And we're like, we're in. We'll figure it out. Go for it. That right there, you guys, is the beauty of it. If you truly want to have vacation you know like move past the group chat get yourself a friend that doesn't care if you have your passport or anything yet and she's just like I'll put it on the credit card because I probably wouldn't have done this if we waited for me to get my passport to like book this trip we wouldn't be going no and I think it motivated you to just get your passport already yeah so I'm super excited and honestly it's like opening up the doors like what's next like you know because now you have it and it's good for what five years ten it's good for 10 years that means that means you need to plan a big trip next like go somewhere I would love to go to like Italy yeah I would love for you to go there that would be so much

SPEAKER_00: 3:15

fun

SPEAKER_01: 3:16

yeah that's like my my like one of my dream trips to like Europe Italy um Greece is like a big one yeah just it's the year of travel I don't know something about this year like I just want to go see it all yeah but I mean thank god we have the like flexibility with our jobs too it's such a huge thing yes absolutely that's one thing I love about being self-employed um well I don't get you know when I do take time off it's not paid time off since you know I'm self-employed but what's nice is it's like I don't have to ask anyone for permission yeah you know ask myself have a little meeting with myself and I'm like yes vacation time approved yeah right you're like that's your approved so like yeah yeah that's kind of the thing for me right now like kind of just you know being in the mortgage business I'm self-employed I get to do pretty much I manage my own desk you know I'm on the phone I can work from anywhere yes that was the best thing that I realized through like COVID times was like you don't have to be sitting at a desk like you truly get to just go wherever you have Wi-Fi and um technology's come such a long way that I don't even really need to bring a laptop I'll probably only be bringing my laptop on this trip just for for the podcast yeah yeah other than that I could probably leave it but yeah it's so nice and we have some really cool things that are coming up you guys we have an event coming up um I wish I had that date you have to pull it up it's on the 17th on the 17th okay May 17th May 17th Overflow Tap House tap in it's a women's entrepreneur like like if you're a woman in business um come out you guys it's gonna be fun it's gonna be a really really awesome opportunity for like she said you guys it's women in business it's a networking event you know no matter what it is whether you're in real estate like me or you're in the beauty industry or whatever that is like it's women supporting women and just trying to build a community and a network of people to just support each other because you know that's it everybody I saw this actually earlier. Every single person that is in a very, very successful business at one point had zero clients or zero customers or zero leads and zero sales, you know, and it just takes one person to buy your product or come in and get a service from you and do that to have it snowball and have that word of mouth kind of travel and have you become a trusted person in that kind of profession. So that's kind of our goal with this event is to kind of get people's business out there and you know get people more popular yeah just like networking spreading the love supporting each other you know we all know we've encountered haters we've encountered you know just those people sometimes with women it can be finicky but you know it's like we're too grown you guys let's just support each other lift each other up and yeah it should be super fun yeah I'm super excited about it yeah and if you guys have never been to overflow tap room in Gilroy it's a really really awesome spot super cool vibes and just it's gonna be a really fun place it's gonna be it's gonna be a fun night we're gonna be out there we're gonna have our mics hot yeah so we got those little mini mics that like hook up to our shirts so we're gonna be interviewing some of the girlies it should be fun so then we can like clip together those those little mini interviews that we do with people we can like maybe make an episode out of it too you guys because there's gonna be some really successful women there you guys that really truly do it all have built super successful businesses and juggle a lot to juggle you know a couple of my friends that have businesses are going to be there and like you know their moms or their wives and they have their businesses or some of them have more than one business or more than one location like it's just really cool you know so it's going to be a really inspiring event I'm excited yeah definitely definitely but yeah so stay tuned or if you guys are interested in learning more about the event and how you guys can get on the guest list give us a give us a little call or dm us yeah to find out more details um you know we'll be out there unengaged podcast on instagram yep yep so we're gonna um this episode is going to be kind of about spirituality how do you manifest things to get what you want um and maybe a little bit of some embarrassment of how i was um I guess you can say either almost a part of a cult or a part of a cult that I didn't realize that I was a part of a cult until after. Yeah, you guys, we're going to get juicy. Yeah, this is definitely going to be a fun episode. And I'm so excited to just dive in and actually ask you some questions on these things because as your friend, there's a lot of questions that have gone unasked thus far. So great. Okay, where do we begin? But I don't know. I mean, I think obviously manifestation is something that has become very popular. You know, it's a very popular topic a lot of people talk about it if you're on tiktok like that's all there is instagram youtube it's everywhere right now it's everywhere but i truly don't think i know anyone personally that has like instilled that into their life as much as you have so like how did you like get there like what what made you like really want to like actually like you know double down on that and make it part of your routine yeah um thank you for the question um no i think you know went through a really bad breakup and then kind of the spiritual path kind of found me and once I kind of went down that road into spirituality and stuff like that um you know, the word manifest, you know, kept coming up in different podcasts that I would watch or listen to, um, different, um, spiritual, like guru manifestation life coaches that I would follow on Instagram. And, um, as I, you know, I had a life life coach at the time and, um, was learning a lot about spirituality and stuff like that and doing a lot of, you know, the inner work and yoga was like a big part of that. But As far as like with the manifesting stuff, I think it just, it makes total sense, right? Because look, you think about it and we hear about the, what is it, like the red car theory or the blue car theory where, or whatever it is, or even like, Honda you know like how basically someone says that's happening to me right now yeah I literally you guys I'm like I'm getting to the point now where I'm like okay like it's time for me to like get a new vehicle and I I'm totally that person that's like I kind of have a style you know like I like the more sports utility like rugged truck you know things like that so I've been trying to decide if I want like the classic go-to Chevy truck that I've had forever and ever over and over again or if I want like a Bronco something different okay and And so I've been thinking about the Broncos and I'm like, oh, not a lot of people have them. Like, I think that's maybe something that I want. And I had ordered one in the past. Long story. Won't get into it right now. But I really was like thinking about that. And then all of a sudden you start seeing them everywhere. It's a dang Bronco. It's like every other car. And I'm like, oh, no, I don't want it anymore. Yeah. Literally. Like if I tell you when you leave here, you know, if I tell you when you leave here, you're going to see a red car.

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Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 10:53

you're gonna see nothing but red cars on the road. Or if I say, you're gonna see a red Honda, you're gonna see, I mean, whatever it is, it's because, That's where your attention is going. You're picturing that in your mind. Therefore, that's what you're finding. So that can apply to anything. It can apply to starting a business. I've definitely been able to use, I would say, in the strongest way, the whole manifesting thing toward business and financial goals. I don't have a lot of blockages there. So it also depends on what your programming is and what you believe you're truly worthy of. I can tell you like in the relationship department, I have more programming I'm still working through and worthiness, you know, things that I'm working through. So, you know, that one is a little bit harder for me. So it also is just going to depend on your starting point as far as, you know, your belief system revolving around whatever it is. If it's the dream partner that you want, if it's buying a home, if it's monetary wealth, if it's starting a business, whatever it is. But it's kind of like that theory. Right. So first off, it's having a vision of what it is you want. So let's just use a business as an example. I want to open a hair salon. Okay. It all just starts with having a vision in your mind. That's step one. Step two is writing it down. So you can journal about it. You can create affirmations. You know, like, you know, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm worthy of, my own business or, you know, different things like that. I'm going to be the best hairstylist. Yeah, there you go. There you go. Yeah. And you can just kind of journal about it. And the trick is to, when you do write about it, you want to write about it as if you already have it. I feel like I've found that... with manifesting that's probably the number one thing that a lot of people don't do is they they'll write what they want but they don't write or think about it or meditate on it as if they already have it and that's kind of the trick because basically what you're doing is your your nervous system doesn't know the difference

SPEAKER_00: 13:11

yeah

SPEAKER_01: 13:12

so if you were to close your eyes take some deep breaths and imagine that you already had this thing whether it's you know, a lover, you know, whether it's a home, you know, you can close your eyes and imagine that you're in your dream home and just imagine all these things. What would it smell like? What would it look like? And I mean, just everything. I mean, you can, the more detailed, the better. You can do it about a business that you want to, you know, you can do it about anything. You know, maybe you want to travel more. The whole thing is to think about it as if you already have it. And really sit in that. That makes a lot of sense because if you think about it, like you're saying, like your nervous system doesn't know the difference. Yeah, your body doesn't know the difference. It literally thinks when you're channeling that, when you close your eyes, you take deep breaths, you go into kind of like a meditative state and you're picturing and you also call it like you're feeling, what would that feel like? What would it feel like to have my soulmate? And you could literally start, I mean, I've done this where I've started crying and I'm like, oh my God, I'm so happy that I found you. Like, thank you, thank you, God. Like, you know, all of that. I mean, and when you do that, yeah, I mean, you're basically your body and your mind is already in it as if you already have it so you're like programming yourself to basically be there in that in that place and kind of expect accept nothing less that and the red cars start showing up so it'll be opportunities will start presenting themselves Maybe a friend introduced you to somebody. Maybe you, you know, feel inspired to finally create the online dating profile and you meet someone really amazing. Maybe you bump into somebody at coffee. Maybe you're driving down the road, you turn and you look and you see this place for lease and you're like, whoa, that'd be a perfect spot for a hair salon or a bar or whatever it is that you, you know, whatever it is. Or yeah, all of that. Things just start kind of presenting themselves.

UNKNOWN: 15:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 15:18

And it's, it's kind of like unexplainable. It's, it's, it's, it's kind of trippy when it happens. Um, but, and the more time you spend with it, all of it, like meditating on it, journaling on it, affirmations, um, all of that stuff, the stronger it is. Yeah. Like it's, it's crazy. And then of course it's, The other aspect of it is like doing the work.

SPEAKER_00: 15:45

Yeah. Right. Because you can't just sit there and wish on your, you

SPEAKER_01: 15:48

know, it starts there. It starts there. Right. But there has to be action behind it. Of course. You know, absolutely. Yeah. It's not just going to show up at your door like an Amazon package. Well, sometimes it might for some people that are really delusional enough to think that it's possible. Honestly, the Delulu thing, you guys, that is a fucking thing. Let me tell you, the more delusional you are about something that you want, I out of life, the more likely that it'll happen. Okay, I'm a firm believer in that and I'm really starting to figure it out because There are people that I am around a lot. I can't wait. I can't wait. And I don't want to name any names or anything like that. I know what you're going to say. There are just some people that I come across now in my life that I'm like, oh, my God. I am one of those people, you guys. Let me just say, I by no means have my shit together, but it's in a bag. And I carry that bag very fucking close to me. And I try so hard to keep my shit together all the time. whether that be trying to work on time and doing extra hours and making sure that I'm you know doing the most to be better at my crafts I can make more money to pay my bills to do all these things and I feel like constantly like I'm just met with adversity like not constant constant but like just enough to keep me constantly stressed

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okay

SPEAKER_01: 17:13

you know and and then there's people that I am around all the time that do the bare fucking minimum okay do not give any extra effort barely do enough to keep their damn jobs like you know it's just like a anomaly that they're even like

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alive

SPEAKER_01: 17:31

you know they're like they're like that cactus that has never seen water but is somehow blooming i have one in my backyard right now that yeah no that's the kind of delulu that i'm like looking at people you know some that like i work with and i'm like dude like you were just flying at the seat of your fucking pants but like you seem to have it all you know you're not going without like and i'm like man should i just like let go and let god like am i holding on too tight like yeah but that yeah when you talk about the delulu coming in Cholulu. Some of these people have it, man. It's like witchcraft. I feel you. Let me tell you guys, you guys, like I know some people that are not all the way there and they have been able to create like wealth, you guys, like businesses, like successful businesses. And I've watched it. There's like specific people that I'm thinking of where I've watched it from the point of manifestation, like the point of it just being an idea and something that they were just like, They were like, oh, yeah, it's going to happen. You know, just it's like it's like Elwood's, you know, getting into Harvard. But like, it's hard. Yeah, literally. And then you watch it. And then here we are a couple of years later. And I'm like, wow. Wow. They're doing that. Like because they were dumb enough to think they could.

SPEAKER_00: 18:49

Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? If they are dumb enough to think that they could. Other people are going to be like, oh, well, if they think they can do it, I guess they can. You know, like,

SPEAKER_01: 18:59

I don't know. It's like the DeLulu is so convincing that it convinces everyone around you. But again, but there you go. That's what it is. There is not a doubt in their mind. There's not until truly not a doubt in their mind that they can not do it or make it happen. So why would anybody else doubt them? And I'm honestly not trying to throw any shade on those people. I know it sounded like I was, but you guys, they're tapped into something that a lot of us are not. I barely scratched the surface on it. Sometimes I wish I had a little dramatism and a little less OCD because I'm telling you that's what it is. It's that constant overthinking that I have. What? Yeah. You know? That is just like... It probably holds you back. Yeah. Yeah. I do the same thing. I'm a professional overthinker. That's for sure. Yep. And there's things that I do that help me not overthink. Honestly, like meditation. And mind you, you guys, I'm not perfect. I've been slacking big time on that. But when I'm on top of it and I do it every day, that is probably the biggest thing that has helped me not overthink. Really? Yes. See, and you guys get yourself a friend that sends you meditation videos. I know, even though you don't do them. I do listen to some of them. Some of them. No, I'll be honest. Maybe like two out of five. you know but still well maybe the two were probably the two times you really needed it yeah exactly and you know there's even been sometimes where i'm like okay maybe i do need it and you didn't send me one this morning but i'll go back in the links you know or if there was one that i really did like i have gone back i will tell you that i'm sure that that's a surprise to you but it's happened oh okay um but yeah i know like sometimes well i'm just really shitty at meditating i can't my mind is a rolodex i mean you can see on my laptop right now i have a to-do list of things that I have to get done just today. Oh, gosh. Yeah, she's reading it right now. I can see her face. That's a lot. And you should have got most of that done. It's already 5 p.m. Well, I don't really start getting after it until about 8 o'clock. I know. I'm just kidding. Yeah, I'm basically nocturnal. But, yeah, no, it's a lot. I wish sometimes I could turn my brain off. there's it's it's a practice and yeah it's it's a practice it honestly it's it's something that takes time it's just like we're going to the gym working out you don't go to the gym once and you're automatically good at it but that's why like i'll send you and like the easiest thing to start with you guys if you're new to meditating is going to be like a guided meditation start with a short one on youtube like a 10 minute or a 15 minute um i say start with guided meditations where you're being talked through it that way your mind and then it has different frequent frequencies music that way your mind isn't like just running while you're doing it sound healing is another really good way um because the frequencies help drown out the thoughts and like kind of almost force your body and your mind into like a relaxed state you know versus you just sitting there in a quiet room like go away thoughts you know it doesn't really work like that can I tell you something funny yeah of course always talking about sound healing so the one and only time I ever did sound healing guys I did one of Kaylee's sound healing classes or classes sessions what are they called sound baths sound baths okay I did one of her sound baths and this was probably like less than seven days after like big fight that caused my breakup and I needed all the cleansing that I possibly could honestly somebody should have like saged me or given me a fucking exorcism I did sage oh you did you did sage me but but an exorcism yeah that I can't do I'm not a priest yeah well there's sometimes I feel like there's still a little demon in there that's holding on but that's another thing but but anyway I'm in there right and I'm like totally trying to like zen out and like just be like in it right and she's like guiding this this sound bath and it's beautiful and everything's good and I'm like really in it and like really truly getting lost in it and then I think it was like those little like rain stick things or the ocean drum maybe no it was like a rain thing oh okay and I think it was like something with like beads or whatever that made it sound like really really heavy rain yeah it's the ocean drum okay yeah it sounds like rain too yeah so anyway it happened to be like sprinkling on my way in and all of a sudden all I could do was think holy shit Did I blow up my window in my car? Oh my. And that's like totally normal for all those thoughts. And I'm just like trying to open one eye and be like, is that her making that noise or is that rain on the window? Yeah. That's like something common that happens or you're like, did I turn my straightener off before I left the house? Like all those kinds of thoughts come in when you finally sit down and you're trying to quiet your mind. It kind of fights back against you because I mean, our minds are made to think and some of us overthink and think too much, but it's just like anything the more you practice it the better you'll get at it yeah you know that's something that I need to get better at yeah I know I need to like just get back on a good routine with it because yeah I'm me and you are the same total over thinkers and that was the one thing that helped me a lot okay yeah so I think it's time oh there was one more tip I wanted to give everybody that my I have a life coach now who's also she's a psychic and a medium and we meet once a month and on zoom and there was like a tip she gave me you guys when you're doing your im affirmations when you're writing them down do a capital i do your im make it capital because that's kind of like a little hack that's like

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enunciating

SPEAKER_01: 24:51

it yes yes so just something small and new that i learned um that's cool because i wasn't doing that i was like making the m or the a a little a and the i would be a big i but she says no like you have to Like IE. Yes, yes, yes.

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Nice.

SPEAKER_01: 25:09

Yeah. Okay. So, you were almost part of a cult. Or kind of was, and I didn't realize. Yeah. Yeah. Has kind of been a part of my, the journey, you know. I think, I think like I was in just such a low place in my life, and I was searching for like the light, and I, someone to have an answer for me to get better. Cause I was like in a really bad depression and stuff and I was on antidepressants and I was just, you know, in a really low spot in my life. Um, I think we've, I think we've all been there, you guys. Yeah. Really vulnerable. And to be honest, I think the specific group of people, I'm not going to say any names, but, um, it's there. Yeah. It's basically a guy. So it's the guy. And then he has like A bunch of girlfriends. That seemed fun at the beginning. Yeah, no. Like-minded people. Yeah. No, but he's like, you know, they have like a whole, you know, they've got like workout plans also, but they've got like, you know, coach calls that are like multiple times a week that you do that are specifically with the women, for women, and stuff like that. So I just, and I had kind of like heard some things, some bad things about them or about it, but I'm just like... You know what, let me give this a shot. And you guys, to be honest with you, I mean, like, I have to be completely honest. Like, I'm not going to say that it was all bad because it wasn't. I learned so much about spirituality, meditation, like all of the things, you know, I really I really did. So there was there's no way you guys anybody that is a part of any program, any type of call it a cult. The definition of a cult is actually when there's like punishment for leaving. That's what a cult basically is. What made you look that up? Well, I did a little research after. You're like, does this qualify? No. Yeah. So, but like, okay, I guess this is my question is like, what initially like drew you to this? I mean, obviously you weren't like looking for another religion or like something like that, but like you said, like workout plans and things like that. So was, were you looking more for like, like a life coach, like something that kind of puts you on the right track. Absolutely. I was just looking on the train. Like, yeah, like I followed, I think some of the, some of the girls on Instagram, they're also all very extremely beautiful. You guys gorgeous for sure. Um, great marketing. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, beauty sells, right? I mean, I'm in the beauty industry. I understand that. But, um, I followed some of them on Instagram and, you know, a lot of this stuff resonated with me, you know? And I was just like, let me see what this is about. And they also kind of like, will tend to like, if you follow them, like reach out to you

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and

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stuff like that too, to be like, Hey, join. Yeah. So then all of a sudden you kind of feel special. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And that's kind of the thing, you know, that a lot of those types of groups tend to do, right? It's almost like, um, what's the word? Like, like grooming. Oh, well, there was, like, a lot of that, too. But no, it's more like fishing, kind of. Okay. You know? Yeah, like they, like, are trying to, like, recruit you, basically. There you go, recruit. That was the word I was looking for. Okay. Yeah, because I think I met some criterias, you know, of what they like. Yeah. Yeah, you guys, I think, like, when it started getting a little bit weird was when the guy started reaching out to me. And I don't know. And this is, like, the main dude. Okay. And then also makes you feel special because you're, like, a part of this group where you're learning all this stuff that's helping you. And I actually, yeah. So, and then, you know, then this guy that, like, developed all this, taught these girls all this stuff, you know, is now, like, wanting to take you out on a date. Ooh. Yeah. And at the time I was... And was that like something... Sorry, I'm asking more questions. No, go ahead. But is that something that like a lot of people like that was like frequent or did it truly feel like you were like the only one to kind of break that barrier to like get up to that level? Like did it feel like it was... At the time, it felt very exclusive. I'm not going to lie. I felt very special. I mean, also there was just like a level of beauty that you had to have physically in order for him to date you or want to date you. So that really like made you feel like... okay like it makes you feel yeah it makes you feel special i feel actually really vulnerable right now too like talking about this like i'm almost like what i want to share what don't i like i'm a little uncomfy um just just because you guys like with anything there is a light and a dark side right there's some people that tend to that will go on the darker side of things um So, yeah, we would have these coach calls and stuff. And so we weren't allowed to, we were not allowed to talk about men when we were, like, that was a big no-no. Like, we couldn't even say a man's name. So, like, let's say if I wanted advice about something from my coach, I would have to use, like, a woman's name to, like, get advice about it.

SPEAKER_00: 30:24

Because

SPEAKER_01: 30:24

that was a big no-no because they weren't allowed to talk. They weren't allowed to have anything to do with any other man. You couldn't even say a man's name in their presence. Even the coach is not just the main guy. oh yeah all the women which were his girlfriends yeah so was there any so that was obviously a big red flag it was weird it was uncomfortable I was like this isn't this is weird this isn't normal like obviously I'm not dumb you guys but at the same time I was at a really low point and it was helping me so much

SPEAKER_00: 30:53

so kind of like a little bit of an adrenaline rush I'm sure too to be honest I mean let's just be real like

SPEAKER_01: 30:58

that absolutely well even like when he asked me out on the date at the time I was very single yeah I went out on the date I'm not gonna lie I'm like let me see what this man is about I want to be in his presence doesn't live too far um and I did you know yeah I'm not gonna lie you know um sigh I don't think that's something necessarily to be totally ashamed of. I mean, we all know our worth. And sometimes when things are in the gutter, like, you know, you kind of go on sale every now and then. So, I mean, there's definitely some people I've gone on dates that I would not, they're not necessarily cream of the crop, being my average, but hey, you know, it's getting your blood going a little bit. Well, that, and like, I mean, he had a lot of knowledge about a lot of different things and was trained in a lot of different things. Like, it was just, I was like, I wanted to pick his brain, you know, too. It wasn't even about, you know. So what would you say is something that you, like, top three things that you learned from this experience? Like, now, you mean? Yeah, like, moving forward from it, like, what are, like, your three main takeaways? Like, like you said, you wanted to pick his brain. Like, so, like, did you learn any crazy, like, stuff from him that, like, you're like, okay. maybe that's how he like hooked me in maybe that's like something I'm gonna implement into future things I mean there was a lot of good things that I learned you guys but let me let me just go on first to tell you like yeah now kind of like the bad stuff and where it all went south okay so that way you can you guys can hear this it's I know please don't judge me you guys for anybody like take off the judging ears you guys because I mean I've watched multiple multiple shows about this too if you guys have ever watched you know Leah Romini like Scientology you know she goes into you know that whole thing and it's you know there's a lot of different religions that are cult like there's different there was another one um It was called Twin Flame. It was like on Netflix and they went into... It was kind of like an online thing where it was like a cult, you know? And anytime you're in something, you guys... Hindsight's always... What do they say? Hindsight's always... Yeah, 2020. Like when you're outside of something, you see it so clearly. When you're in it, it's a little bit different. But... Yeah, so the whole thing about not being able to talk about males, that was, like, a whole thing. It was hard because I have a son, and I wasn't even allowed to, like, you know, like, talk about him. So that was, like, that was really hard for me. And the things I was going through at the time that had to do with a past relationship, it was just I had to talk in code. There were, okay, the red flags that I started to see and where I started to see that this was not... a good thing that this was very like dark and they weren't what they were like portraying themselves to be is you know when one of the girls or there had been times where it was me would slip up and accidentally let's say say a male's name or just do something that our coach didn't prove of she would go off on us like afterwards she'd either call us or text us and you guys i mean like you know every curse word in the book i mean we were being like because i would i'd separately talk to some of the girls about this like threatened you know to get thrown out of it you know how dare you like you now you need to go talk to the guy you know who is yeah you know you need to talk to him to see if you know you can even still be in it like everything basically went through him you know so then the punishment yes and it was just it was crazy you guys the reaction to like the smallest things and the way we'd get talked to and treated it was like okay what in the world is going on this is crazy like like total verbal abuse I mean then we would have to sit through like mandatory like little zoom calls that he would put on and like we'd get if we couldn't make it we'd just get given hell if we couldn't make it how dare you not at 10 this did it, you know, whatever. And then, you know, more curse words and put downs. Um, so we'd have to sit through these things. And if someone had their camera off, like we were, there were so many rules, you guys, we weren't allowed. We had to be in full makeup, had to have our camera on. Couldn't have our camera off. Couldn't say male's name. I mean, there was just so many things. If we posted videos on Instagram, it's like, well, you're a representation of us. We recommend that you don't post videos with no makeup on. You know, then you'd have to take the video down to make them happy or leave it and say F you, but then hear a bunch of crap about it.

SPEAKER_00: 35:42

Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 35:43

Like it was just, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Okay. These are just little small things, but it went on and on and on with everything. It got to a point where I would go for events and the way I was dressed wasn't okay. I needed to cover up. I had to tie a sweater around my waist because I have a big butt. You know, it's like being full makeup, but cover up. And the only time you didn't have to cover up is if you were out with him. And it was the same for the girls. But otherwise, you know, you had to be covered up. And so there were multiple little arguments that I'd get into with my coach because, you know, she'd be telling me off. Like, don't you dare walk in here like that. You know, I'd have to like... borrow a sweater to tie around my waist from her or yeah at that point I started getting over it you guys and just to make a really long story short what ended up happening and why I got kicked out was because I was on a zoom and my son walked across the background because he was out of school that day he was it was a holiday or he was sick And I got kicked out for that. And I basically was told that I needed to, yeah, I was basically told that I needed to talk to the guy and asked to be forgiven for it. And if I could get back in that, I pretty much needed to like beg him to be still a part of it. And I was just like, everything had already been adding up at that point. And I was like, there is no world in which I will ever, ever you guys not be allowed to To have my son. Like, no, no, never. That is my son. It's like, and at the time he was like four. I'm like, what is it about my son? My four year old son? Like, I couldn't even help that. I'm like, you know what? Screw this. I'm done with you people. Done, done, done. Wow. And did they ever... Like try to contact you after that or like any. So you guys, during this time, I had friends that tried to reach out to me to let me know that the things that they heard about these people. Cause I would, I would post it. I would tag them things. I was learning things, you know, whatever. And people would try to tell me things and I defended it. I'm like, look, this is helping me. I don't care what you heard. Like, these people are helping me. Like, mind your own fucking business, pretty much. I shut anybody down that tried to come and say something about it. And so there were specifically, there was one friend at the time that, like, sat me down and was like, she showed me. So this friend was married. And this is when I ended up finding out also that, you know, he was trying to recruit her, even knowing she was, like, married. Then I started finding a lot of all these other people that were also getting this, he like copy and pasted the same messages. Ooh, that's good. Guys, if you're trying to start a cult, use chat GDP, okay? Have some variation. Yeah, and what I would say signifies it as a cult is when I left, it was like, I got basically shunned from everybody. I met all these amazing women through this that were also part of this group that we would meet every week and stuff like that. I met all these women from other states that were part of it. This isn't a one-on-one. This was a whole group. People from all over. I met women from different states. Wonderful people, you guys. There were other girls, people that were part of it, people that knew them that I had on Instagram, on social media. Well, everybody was instructed that they were to unfollow me block me and no longer speak to me or that they were going to be kicked out of the group too is what I was told wow yeah so I to me it's like this is why people say this about it why they say things you know because it's like knowing what I know now like I have a mentor now she's amazing you guys there's just no way like anybody this is there's just there's you guys so let me ask you this with the coach that you have now and like the mentor that you have now like were you kind of like wary like coming into it like I wasn't because I feel like I learned my lesson. You know what I mean? I learned my lesson. And honestly, the biggest takeaway back to your original question that I took away from that was the number one thing that I learned is one. Well, kind of like a two part. Trust your gut. Always trust your gut because there were red flags that I ignored. Okay, for sure. Trust your gut. And two, practice discernment, you guys. If you're thinking of, regardless of where you're at in your life, like how low you are, if you're looking for a spiritual teacher, a life coach, this is a really big thing right now, a mentor. I mean, this is huge right now, you guys. So many people have mentors, life coaches, and all of that. This is a huge booming business for the people that are doing this. It's huge. I would say follow your gut. Use discernment. Like, come on. I mean, did I practice that at the time? No. I was looking for a way out of what I was

SPEAKER_00: 40:58

going through. It was a quick fix, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 40:59

Yes, absolutely. Um, which we've all done in some way or form before, you know, like that's not something that's foreign. Everybody does that. Yes. You know, whether it be some sort of, you know, crash diet or fixing some, whatever problems you have. Like if you can go and say that you haven't done something to cut some corners for a quick fix, like you're just lying to yourself. I mean, some people do it with alcohol. Some people do it with substances. Some people do it. You guys, there's a dark side of everything. Okay. So, Don't let it stray you away from spirituality or getting a life coach. That's not what I'm trying to have it do. I'm just telling you what I learned. And just like anything, you guys, whether it be you're looking for a life coach or you're in a certain religion, there's a dark side of everything. So go toward the light. Use discernment. I mean, you can tell. I can totally tell the difference. You know what I mean now. The life coach that I have now, her name's Marilyn... Um, how I got referred to her was my friend Darlene. That's like her life coach to life coach. I guess you'd call it life coach mentor. I don't know. Like I said, she's also, um, a medium and she's also like kind of psychic, but she works with like angels and stuff like that too. Like, like she can channel like your, your guardian angels and your guides and stuff like that too. And like deliver messages that they have for you. Um, yeah. So, um, But, I mean, you can just tell. I mean, there's just, it's nothing but love. There's zero judgment there. There's not any rules about anything. Like, none of the weird stuff, you know. And there were, you know, there were weird things that stood out to me that I looked past, like I said. So, you know, don't let it stray you away. I mean... But, hey, I mean, you know, it's a... It's an experience. It's an experience. It's a, it's a lesson and, and there's tea. No, no, but I mean, you know, that's one of those things that I think like, honestly, like you see these things on Netflix, you guys, I mean, we all have, we've all watched them and we've all gone like, well, how the fuck did that person let that happen? I would never let someone talk to me like that. I would never. Well, guess what? Like they're not coming to you on your best day. Okay. They're coming to you when you're at your lowest, when you're vulnerable when you're looking for what they're selling you know what i mean and that's it it's like you know the classic kidnapper you know in the stockholm syndrome you know free candy right you know like they know who they're picking up they know who they're like you know pulling in with what they are saying that they're giving off and and that's exactly what it is is they saw you as a vulnerable woman in that that state that you were in at that time and said well here's your fix for it and we're gonna give it to you and you know it's sad that people are out there that like prey on people like that honestly advantage it makes you guys looking back on my journey I don't know regret anything that I've ever been through in my life it actually makes a lot of sense that I would have been attracted to something like that because I came out of a really abusive relationship at the time with like a narcissist and it was just it was bad and that was what I was comfortable with and that was kind of I feel like almost how this guy was. And so you guys, it makes sense. It all makes sense. And, and it's okay because it's all, it's all a lesson, right? Can I ask you a question? This might be kind of like a hard one, but I just, when you say it like that, um, you know, cause I, I knew you when you were in that relationship and it's a hard thing to leave, you know, and a hard thing to like see from the inside, you know what I mean? Um, Do you feel like this experience that you had with this group and seeing how you kind of like fell prey to somebody like that in a not so one-on-one romantic aspect kind of gave you the awareness that that's something that you were falling towards you know and kind of gave you a reason to like look at that and kind of come away from it because I mean you've come so far and I mean the people that like you carry with you now are night and day not that type of person anymore in your friendships and your relationships all those things do you feel like that kind of helped you see that absolutely absolutely and there were a lot of characteristics that I also in the girls and the girls that were teaching us that I saw in myself when I was in the relationship I was in I'm not saying there's any type of physical abuse there I don't know that for sure but I can definitely say I mean there's verbal there's minute there's programming happened when you're in an abusive relationship or a toxic relationship where you're constantly being put you're constantly being put down all the time when you finally leave it's it's it's that voice in your head that because you guys don't realize it when you're in it and you're constantly being called every name in the book or whatever it is when you finally do leave that's what you have in your head and that's kind of what happens in situations like this cult-like situations whether it be in religion spirituality whatever else you guys um it's the same kind of thing they're programming you to believe we were told i mean all the time that like without us you're gonna be nothing you're gonna be lost like you need us and you're constantly being programmed to think that yeah so then when it's like kind of being taken threatened to be taken away from you you're like no no no no no like i need this i need this you know

SPEAKER_00: 46:33

yeah

SPEAKER_01: 46:35

um and yeah so i think it was very very similar you know for sure so and um yeah i think i definitely had to go through it i will say you guys like Some of you guys maybe think this is crazy and hopefully some of you guys aren't as hard-headed as me. I'm definitely very hard-headed. I can tell you that I am the type of person that I need to learn all the lessons myself and in the most difficult way in order to get it through my head. And kudos to you if you're not like that, good for you. I mean, honestly, but that's not the way I am. So it makes perfect sense on the journey that I would have to learn every single thing that I didn't want before I could get to a place to know what I did want, whether it be in relationship and a life coach and business and friendships and all of it, all of it. Because my hard-headed ass has to learn that way. You know, and some of us do. Like, I feel like I'm that way, too. Like, nobody can give me advice. I have to find out for myself. And

SPEAKER_00: 47:37

that's something that I have tried so hard to work on this year. Or really, I guess, like, the past, like, two years. You know what I mean? Is, like,

SPEAKER_01: 47:43

just, hey,

SPEAKER_00: 47:45

try and,

SPEAKER_01: 47:45

you know, figure shit out before it figures you out. You know what I mean? Like, and... That's a meme right there. That's a quote that used to be an Instagram post. You know? Because it's hard. It's hard when you're one of those people that has to learn the hard way. I have always been that person since I was a kid. My mom will tell you. It's definitely been a hard battle fought for a long time. And when you're that kind of person and you're just... you got to prove everybody wrong. And you know, like all that, you know, it's the more you guys, the more people told me these people are no good. That guy's insane. I'm like, F you us against the world. Let's go. I'm going on a date with this guy. Like that's. And so the more you tell me, no, and this is the way I was growing up.

SPEAKER_00: 48:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 48:34

The more you tell me I can't do something. I want to prove that I can. I will do it. So you guys, next time, don't say that we can't do something. Maybe tell us we shouldn't.

SPEAKER_00: 48:45

I don't know. You shouldn't do this. You

SPEAKER_01: 48:46

do you. But you probably shouldn't. But you probably shouldn't. Yeah. That's definitely something that's starting to kind of come into my brain finally is like the devil angel on the shoulder kind of, you know, scale of like probably shouldn't. And I'm just starting to listen to it for once in my life. Good. I'm very proud. Good. Honestly, I'm proud of you because it's a really hard thing to train your mind to think differently when you just are that person it's like I was born a rebel I don't know I was just born a rebel this is just I like to go also against societal normalcies it's like I'm not going to do things the way you tell me to do it I'm going to do it the way I want to do it I mean it's just and I see people I see people that just do things the right way, like the way it's supposed to be done. And I see how... I don't want to say that their life is easy because everyone... Everybody is going through something, you know, even when it looks like they're not, but man, it's like, I sure, I'm sure they ain't on a podcast talking about a story about how they were part of a cult. You

SPEAKER_00: 50:00

know what I'm saying? Most of those people don't have enough

SPEAKER_01: 50:01

content to start a podcast. They probably are like, you know, a one episode. That's true. You know what I mean? That's true. We will never run out of content. You know what? No, we won't. And honestly, the way I look at like anything you and I both have been through, cause we, we've both been through a lot and we, we, we both have got endless stories you guys but um you know it's like Honestly, I forgot the point I was going to make. I just completely lost my third train of thought. The point is, you guys, everything that we've done up to this point. Life experience is what I was going to say. Life experience. We're doing it for the plot, okay? We're learning lessons so that y'all don't have to. Yeah. So tune in. Stay tuned. You know, who knows, you guys? Who knows what the next topic is going to be about? Yeah, we'll see. No, but honestly, the way I look at it truly is like, look, man, it's just, it's life lessons and it's, experience. I mean, I know for me, when I leave, when I leave this earth, I want to know that I did everything. You know what I mean? Like, I think you're getting there. I feel like I'm getting there. No, maybe I should probably settle down soon. Yeah. Or not. I don't know. We'll see. Stay tuned for Tales from Mexico. All right. Well, I think that's pretty much all we got for this week. I don't have any stories of crazy things like that. So we'll leave it where it's at. But if you guys have been through something similar, do tell. Please do. Help me feel like I'm not alone. This is something, you guys, that I did not know about my best friend. Yeah. This is the most engaged, by the way, I've seen you. in a conversation with me where I was talking most of the time. Yeah, no, because it's like, she was sitting there, you guys holding onto her seat, like, what? Like, if she had popcorn, y'all, she would have been eating that popcorn. Like, what's next? Don't change the channel. What's she going to say next? Like, so, yeah. I mean, if you guys have been through something similar and you're afraid to, like, talk to your friends about this or afraid to, like, talk to your, you know, you got to tell somebody about these crazy things. Let it out. Tell us. We won't judge you. Yeah, tell us. We'll do a little, send us a little voice note with like the little voice changer or something like that. We'll tell your stories. Yeah. All right, guys. Well, glad you guys listened this far. Yes. Got some lessons and some tea today. Yep. All right. Signing out. See you later.