SPEAKER_00: 0:34

Hey guys, welcome to the Unengaged Podcast. We're back, Kay and Cody. We're here in the studio. We're just hanging out today, just like having a normal conversation. We really don't have too, too much on the schedule for you guys today. I know last week we had a lot coming at you with all the different interviews that we had, with all the women that we had at our Women Empowerment event. event yeah overflow and you know it was just awesome so we're still kind of riding that high a little bit right now and we're just kind of like talking about how recapping our life and where we're at right now yeah like we're both gosh you guys life is just life is lifing like We're just talking about like kind of like I guess like duality and how on one side you can have so many amazing things going for you so much to be grateful for and maybe in another part of your life you don't really know you're not where you thought you'd be. You don't really necessarily know like where you're going or what's going to happen. But then you have these other buckets, right? That are just so full and overflowing. Like, let's say the friendship bucket, you know, it's being surrounded by good people. Our podcast, you know, the feedback we've gotten about it from people. We've gotten the most beautiful feedback. Some of the things that like I hear like strangers tell me or they about me to Haley and like other environments or whatever, like the feedback that we get. I'm just like, whoa, that's so crazy to think that like people are that like excited and like, you know, really like inspired by us and like what we have to say. Because really at the end of the day, like we're just two best friends talking to each other, you know? And if we can be one of your best friends on your way to work, like... That's awesome. Like, I love that. And it's cool to like have that kind of energy and like know that that's out there and that like people really do get something out of what we're putting together. Absolutely. And like you said, it's really cool to know that we're a part of people's weekly routines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even if regardless of how many like subscribers that we have or that listen to this, I don't even know what number we're at. I don't even really think it matters, you know, whether it's 200 or it's 2000. I mean, it really doesn't make a difference to us. I mean, even if there's 20 of you guys that get something from this and you've made you've made us a part of your weekly routine and you look forward to listening to these episodes like that is an amazing feeling for us like and it holds us accountable to honestly like I think that like this is just kind of like any other healthy habit out there you know when you really think about it it's like you know you want to go and be really heavy on the gym for a month or two right you know and then all of a sudden it's like you you know get a bad cold or something like that happens and all of a week but quite honestly like I think about it and like yeah there's sometimes where like both of us are so busy and it's like should we skip you know and it's like nope can't skip can't skip we have people that are like counting on yeah listening to us give the people what they want yeah you know and then it just holds us accountable like it gives us a reason to hang out and like talk and like just hang out and chill and it's nice because it's kind of like having a a weekly date with your best friend yeah that uh other people are counting on you to have so it's like no one gets mad that you're spending all this time together it's like we have to yeah you have to do it for the people yes I think how do you feel like how do you feel about I don't know where you're at with life right now like what are some things that are coming up for you Cody well you know I don't know why the first thing that I'm thinking about right now so like is that song that like is on. So Morgan Wallen just like dropped his album. It'll probably be like two weeks ago now when you guys are listening to this, but the first like new song on the album that I listened to, just like, hit me so freaking hard it's the of all 37 tracks you know it's i got better and it's like that's my favorite one and like honestly i feel like that's exactly where i'm at in life right now is that like not a lot has changed like i'm still me i'm still like the same person that i was even like a year ago like still doing all the same stuff like i haven't changed my personality too much or anything or my hobbies but like i have gotten better you have i feel like the entire i don't know i i personally i knew you from before and i feel like you're living with more intention yeah you're not perfect you don't claim to be neither do i but i don't know i feel like you've grown a lot yeah i think like personally yes but like do i still love to go and like hang out at the same places and do all the same things like am i still looking forward to the same rodeo i've been looking forward to for 31 years yeah yeah like am i still like looking forward to like doing all the same things like absolutely like I know where I'm having dinner on Thursday you know what I mean like and it's the same place I had dinner last Thursday yeah and the Thursday before that but like like you're saying like personally like mentally like all those things I feel like I got better you know and like I'm just getting a little bit better every day and I feel like that's you know there's not like a major goal in sight at this point but every day there's just a little bit more to it Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to get back in the gym. I've been slacking, slacking really fricking hard, man. I think it also has a lot to do with your schedule though. Yeah. My schedule sucks. Yeah. My schedule sucks so bad right now. I bet you a lot of, a lot of our listeners can relate. A lot of our listeners commute to work every day or work nine to fives. Like I'm sure you guys find it really hard to incorporate the gym or like healthy stuff into your routine because you leave so early or you get up so early by the time you get home you're so tired you have other things demanding your time and energy kids whether it's husband whether you're a single mom whether whatever you're just exhausted at the end of the day like It can be really hard, you know, and everyone's schedule is very different. So I think a lot of it does have to do with the schedule. I think for me, it's like, it's mental. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like I'm so mentally exhausted at the end of the day that like, or even just when I wake up in the morning after a long night, because like most of the time I'm getting home like one or two in the morning. And then I might like watch one episode of Sex and the City or something, you know what I mean? Just to like, kind of like rock myself to sleep. And then... like the next morning I'm still tired because it's like it's such a late night and you know so I think like mentally I'm like okay I have like x y and z things that I have to do and then I'm like do I really want to go like you know yes I do but like I'm just I don't know this might just be me I don't know if you're just uninspired yeah I think I might be like like for the gym at least yeah like we're talking about working out in general yeah no I think that like truly like I'm like a little bit like uninspired by it right now even though like when I'm, when it's nine o'clock and I'm, you know, trying to get ready for work and I'm putting on like my favorite outfit that everyone needs to compliment me in. I'm like, Oh God, like, you know, like I don't look like I did two months ago. Yeah. But yeah. So I don't know. I gotta, I gotta get inspired real quick. Yeah. I think like planning and creating a routine, like you could, I don't know, for me, like I have a calendar whiteboard calendar that I erase and I redo every month. I put my affirmations on there. I, you know, put in all my appointments, my things I have going on. And yeah. I feel like you have to like, it's like adulting 101. You have to schedule everything. You have to carve out time and schedule everything for yourself. So just being like, okay, what's my schedule this week and next week look like? And then being like, okay, and write it down. Like I'm going to go to the gym from this time to this time and then plan out each day. And then each day what you're going to work on back. Okay. Cardio and sauna. And then just doing it that way. Yeah. I find that it helps, you know, because then you're like, okay, I got to do that today. Because you did your thing on like chat GDP, right? I did my meal plan. on chat yeah so I recently have been starting to do that one of our friends was the ones that like said you know hey you can actually utilize chat GDP for this this is a life hack you guys I did my like diet plan on that again I deviate it from from it all the time because I work in a restaurant so you know I can eat six hard boiled eggs and you know eight ounces of ribeye and get all my protein goals in and all those things all day long but at 12 30 at night you know when the cook is looking at you and she's like hey you want this pizza you're like oh I really don't no no I don't yeah you sure you don't want this uh this bourbon cake with this this ice cream on here no yeah that's hard that's very tempting when you work in a restaurant you want some cheese curds fuck yeah i do i can't say no to the cheese curds yeah that's my weakness yeah those are pretty good but no i i'm trying really hard to get on that one of the things like i've realized is like Because I'm the same way. I schedule everything on my phone. So if you look at my phone right now, it literally tells me. So again, bar manager, right? So it tells me, hey, you have an hour before your Cisco order is due. Send out that order. And then, hey, you have two hours before Alvarado Street needs their beer order for the week. Or all those things. I have all those on there. I don't know if it's mentally. I have really, really bad ADHD. So it's like, I prioritize the things that are like, cause I'm like a major procrastinator. Yeah. I prioritize all the things that other people like can verify or like hold me accountable to way more than I prioritize like my own goals or like things that are only important to me. Cause I was just going to ask like on that task list, is there anything on there that's just for you? Nope. That's something you need to look at. Actually, no, I take that back. There is one on there. Every day at noon, I get a notification telling me to go outside and tan. And that notification has been coming up every day at noon since I think I was like 17. And just so you guys know, I'm a fake baker. I've never taken the time to go outside and tan. You got to change that alarm to a workout alarm. I know. Now it's just like, okay, now I know when it's noon and it's like my day is half over. But yeah, no, I need to change that up. I need to figure out how to get that habit going again.

UNKNOWN: 11:07

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00: 11:08

I'm definitely, yeah, I'm in a place where, like I was just telling somebody today, in order for the people in my life to get this version of me that they're getting right now, because I am at a really good place right now, there's things that I have to do for myself. And I feel like if I didn't do those things, I would not be able to give you, this podcast, my clients, my children, my friends, this version of myself. I feel like I'm definitely, I'm really happy right now. That's good. Yeah. I can tell. You seem happier for obvious reasons. Thank you. Yeah, we'll have to talk about that in a, we'll talk about that in another episode. I don't think I'm ready. Yeah. You guys, you know like when, I don't know, like something just really special happens for you and you want to like just keep it to yourself for as long as you can and before putting it out there and like having other people spoil it like that's kind of where I'm at right now it's like a little baby bird in the nest you know you'll keep bringing it food because you're not ready for the wild to see it yet yeah exactly I can't wait I can't wait though to talk about it because it's pretty amazing but we'll keep it under wraps we do have some secrets you guys I know can't give you guys everything but um yeah no I'm like I'm so happy for you though Thank you. And, like, where you're at right now. Because you can, like, visibly see it. Thank you. That you are there. There's been a lot of aha moments. I had a lot of bad years. I mean, I had a lot of dark times and bad years and moments of feeling so not in alignment. Like, where I just... I was spending time around people, with people I knew weren't right for me. Like, I knew. But it was comfortable and... I don't know. I just... So yeah, there's been a lot of those aha moments for me lately where I just feel like I'm where I should be for once. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you feel like you're in the right place at the right time. Yes, like... like full body goose bump like deja vu moments and that's why you've been seeing me like cry a lot over things I know I'm like literally disaster like right before we started doing this I'm like are you like gonna start your period or something because this is like the third time you like bursted into tears and I'm not and I'm not but it's just immense gratitude I think especially for those of us that have made a lot of mistakes and had a really hard life when life finally starts to fucking go right for you you can't help But be grateful and it makes me emotional every day every day I feel like and I've just worked so fucking hard to get here I've done just done so much work and I it's it's finally I feel like I'm finally on the right path Yeah, and and I haven't been for a very long time. So I guess I'm just I'm just grateful I feel like I totally related to like Christina the little mini interview we did with her where she's like dream life. Yeah, and feel like that and that also doesn't mean that her life is perfect right but well there's no such thing right there's no such thing as perfection it just sucks i feel like you have to say that because even like with us like how we put on our thing like i i see i don't like to address the haters too much because you know you don't want to give that your energy but you know um you know we put on our thing like healing or different things like that you know on our bio We put in our bio like healing or, you know, we put different things like that. And, you know, then it's like you kind of see people post little backhanded passive aggressive memes on their story about how, you know, oh, be careful for people that say they're healed or just, you know, I'll see things like that. And it's just like we're not sitting here claiming to be perfect. Never have we once. But there's a big difference, right? There's a big difference between saying I'm healed and I'm healing. Right? Can you explain to them the difference? Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I couldn't tell you what healed means because I don't know anybody who is. But I don't think that's really realistic. I think that's kind of something that is more towards like what we say is like perfection, right? Like it's fake. It's not real. But, you know, healing is just being aware. You know, and like having self-awareness and like really kind of knowing like, hey, like I'm getting better than I was yesterday. And you know what? There are some days where I might not be as good as I was on Monday, but better than the week before that. You know what I mean? And like just being self-aware of like some of the mistakes that you make. Like that's the thing is there's no reason why you can't. Make a mistake as an adult or as a mom or as a friend or a wife or a girlfriend or anything. You know what I mean? But it's like, just try not to make the same mistake twice or two or three times. Like, learn from it. Yeah. Have a level of self-awareness to reflect on that mistake and try and do things differently the next time. One of the girls that we had on the pod... She was Delilah. Delilah. Oh, I loved her. She was so awesome. She was like my favorite person that I met that day. Like literally like, and she had like some powerful things to say, you guys. I thought about her today. She is a wealth of knowledge that. People shouldn't get for free. They should have to pay for to talk to her. I'm not kidding. This fucking woman. I can't wait to have her on the podcast and do a full episode. You guys. I talked to her for less than five minutes and I feel like I went to a TED talk like masterclass. But one of the things that she said, even in our little mini episode, and if you guys listen to that already, like I'm repeating it because it was just that good is like women like chemically change after 35. She did say that. I remember that. And she was like, and I forget if she said that that was just women or women and men. I can't imagine why it would just be one or the other. I feel like it probably doesn't apply to men. Maybe it's 45 for them. I don't know. Not all of them. But, you know, she basically said like, if you're planning, like if you're looking at your life and you're planning to, you know, make any major changes or do anything like that, do it before you're 35 if you can, because it's so much harder to change after that point. And she talked about how like much easier it is like chemically to kind of like retrain your brain, you know, around like a lot of the like generational like things that we deal with or like around just like a lot of the other cycles that we deal with in our lives. Like I'm 31 and I know that there's a lot of different cycles that I put myself through, you know, and I'm trying to get out of it trying to break them trying to change my type that will keep coming in the same package you know but you know some of us are doing better than others that's all i'm gonna say about that i'm shopping at a different store you guys but the package keeps looking the same i yeah no comment but uh yeah so I mean you know that was one of the other things that like I got out of that event like there was just so much more like I mean it was meant to be a networking event like business forward but I feel like mentally there was so many things that I learned oh my gosh like I was just I was just telling Kaylee I was laughing at myself after we left because again we're doing a networking event and it's people all talking about their businesses and all these things and I was so caught up doing these little interviews talking about people's awareness people's mental state all these different energy it was so much more than It was barely even business. It was all mindset. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, I kind of feel like we were there. We didn't talk about... Obviously, I had the flyers for the salon and stuff, but we didn't talk about our businesses. I feel like we were there more in reflection and as a vessel for people to express through us and create that space where they could talk about... their businesses and their, and we, oh my gosh, you guys, these women, it was a wealth, a wealth of knowledge that we got to absorb by being there. Yeah. Um, and so I'm grateful for that. Like, I'm so grateful for that. Yeah. We met some amazing women and, um, if you don't already know. Yeah. I mean, man, owning a business, it's, it's about so much more. I mean, it's, it's really, it's a mindset. It's a mindset game, you know? Yeah. Um, It totally is. And yeah, I can't wait to have her on the podcast. She was awesome. Yeah, I was like thinking about her today. She just I don't know. She like she like she left an impression on me. Like, yeah, it's you guys. She has a gym. It's in Gilroy. It's called Love Her Gym. But it's so much more than a gym. I don't I don't want to like butcher how she describes it, but so much more than a gym. It was all packaged. She does, like, life coach. She talks about, like, you know, nutrition. I know one of the other gals that was there, I think her name was Holly. She's actually been in there and done, like, credit and, like, financial, like, little presentations. Like classes to teach women. Kind of, like, help prep you, like, depending on where you're at and, like, tell you the importance of, like, having a separate bank account for yourself and, like, having safety nets for yourself. These are things that should be being taught in... taught to us as young young girls you know and like why why are these things not being taught in school teach us something valuable i'll tell you i mean being in the finance industry for like 15 years i will tell you that that is the number one thing that i'm like why the hell do we have you know trigonometry in high school or geometry or any of those like i'm sorry if you're not a like, you know, engineer or carpenter or something that actually needs those skills. Like, is it really required? You know what I mean? Who's in charge of the curriculum of all this? I was told that schools were invented to create factory workers and that the model never got changed. Well, I mean, that's... They're not there teaching you how to pay your taxes correctly. I mean, you know, or like teaching you why you probably, you know, shouldn't have credit cards if you don't know how to use them, you know, effectively and all those different things. I mean, there's a... Yeah, there's a lot to it. I don't know that theory. I can ask one of my best friends who's a teacher and get her perspective on it. We could just ask ChatGPT right now. Yeah, ChatGPT will tell us everything we need to know. Somebody needs to, whoever's in charge, needs to come in and change the model. I personally have also found with my kids... I have one of my children that is a complete empath. She's a total sensitive, creative. I just thought it's a school. It shouldn't be cookie cutter. The same for every child is different. Every human being is different. There should be different types of schools for different types of kids. You know, like I think, you know, she'd benefit more from a school that is based off learning through creativity or music and different creative outlets. You know what I'm saying? Like there's different types. Yeah, that's true. total procrastinator and people pleaser and, you know, can't get my ass to the gym. You are using your powers for something good. No, I am. Yeah. No, but I'm just saying, like, I could probably move if I really knew. Yeah, like you're like, I could be doing a lot more. Yeah. No, absolutely. Like, if every single one of, like, these crazy ass ideas that I get, like, actually made it on paper, like, I'm like, well, where could we be? I think it was... Okay, so I don't know who it was, one of the many interviews that we did. I think it might have been Christina, but you could let me know if it was someone else. Where she was saying, or maybe it was Raquel, like how basically the entrepreneurial mind is... It was Millie. Millie! Okay, yes, Millie. She was saying like that entrepreneurial mind, that ADHD or very just go, go, go mind, that it's... I think for a lot of entrepreneurs, she was saying that it's very hard for them to... Turn it off. Turn it off. One, two... take one of those ideas and actually turn it into something just because we have so much going on at once that it's the execution part that I think you know entrepreneurs or business owners or even just ADHDers if you want to call it that need help with you know it's crazy but it's like I'm totally like that we're legit like I will be sitting there just like in the car driving and like think about something like that would girl that's a million dollar idea no exactly like literally like I've had one idea like sitting in the back of my mind. No, I won't say it because legit it is like a multi-million dollar idea. I'll invest in it. I don't even know what it is. And I'm like, how can I make this work mechanically? Because it would save so much time. And it's so funny because all I will say is that it's something that would be very useful behind a bar. And this is something that I've had in my brain for probably like 10 years. And now that I'm a bartender, I'm like, oh my God, I wish I had something like this. And like it would legit make my life so much easier. And like it would make that whole process go by so much faster. And I'm just like even more so where I'm like, huh, how could I do that? Like, you know, like how could I make that work? How would it work? Like what's the prototype look like? And like literally that's how my brain works sometimes. Yeah. And it's just the execution part. Yeah. I'm sure like how many of you guys have ever had like– wild idea about even just like an invention or like a business idea um i think you know that's kind of the difference between the people that just go for it and do it and the people that just don't they just marinate on those ideas because i mean this podcast is a manifestation of something that was just an idea yeah and it took us a year to put it out do it And like, you know, we talked about it and honestly probably didn't do as much planning as we could have. Yeah. You know what I mean? But, um, but we're out here. We just had to do it. Yeah. We're out here. We're doing it. We're, you know, you know how many people tell us too that like, we want to start a podcast or we've wanted to do this and i just encourage you guys like just do it yeah just do it you guys like the worst thing you can do is fail right or like the worst thing like i we were talking about this again like at that event where it's like hey the worst thing that somebody can tell you is no you know it's like If you want to go and start a business or ask somebody to be a client of yours or offer them a service or even like with dating or dating or anything, it's like the worst thing somebody can say is no. And the more comfortable you guys get with rejection, the more comfortable you're going to get with success because it's like 90% of the time people don't end up doing what they're meant to be doing because they're scared of the rejection. That is so true. And it's like if you just go out there and swing the bat, you never know. Might be a home run, might not. So true. You just got to go out there and do it. You do. And that's like the hero's journey. That's like the success story that all these... you know um million billionaires or whatever tell we've all heard it you guys we've either read it in a book or we've heard it on a podcast or heard it in a you know interview on tv about how many no's they heard before they got the yes all you need is the one yes it doesn't matter if 20 A hundred no's came first. I mean, all it takes is the one person to believe in you. How many artists have had that? Singers, actors? Absolutely. I mean, in anything there is. I mean, think about, like, I know for me, for you, or even other friends that we know that have, like... started things for years and had it like in the works, in the making, all those stuff. And then all of a sudden they're like, Oh, those people just became successful overnight. It's like, no, like there was a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of nights where we're paying for things on a credit card guys. Like, you know, and then one day it snowballs and it becomes something. Yeah. But you just have to believe it and have faith in it. You got to bet on yourself. Yeah. It's like the manifesting one-on-one also.

UNKNOWN: 28:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 28:29

be delusional enough to not even think to know that whatever it is that came to mind for you as we're talking that it's it's for you if if the dream was planted in your head and in your heart it was for a reason god put it there whatever your higher belief is the universe put it there and it was put there for a reason it's because it's meant for you you know I truly do believe that. You just have to believe it's possible. What if we're just like Sims, you know? Like in a little simulation, somebody just decided to go and change our career. Like, you're going to be this now. Got tired of that last one. Let's see what she does. Let's see if she listens, you know? We could do a whole episode on that. I don't even want to... We're like 30 minutes in. I don't even want to go down that rabbit hole because I have some theories about what we're actually doing here. So I'd love to... Next up. Okay. Yeah. Next. Okay. Next episode. Next episode. Next episode. Um, something else that a lot of the women touched on, cause we did ask some of them like dating questions and even the ones that were like married, we're like, well, I haven't dated in a long time, but it kind of applies to like what you were saying about like also. like going, um, not letting the fear of rejection hold you back. If you're interested in someone like for instance, Cody, she's single, you know, and maybe right, right now I'm trying to just pimp her out, but you know, go up to her, talk to her. Don't, you know, don't be shy. If you're interested, shoot your shot. No, no, no. Don't slide in my DMS. Apparently that's not the way to go. Yeah. The girls were like saying all the girls at this event, every single one of them that we asked what their biggest red flag was. They're like sliding in the DMS. I was like, okay, I guess I won't do that anymore. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. guys thanks for the tip sure i'm like i guess i gotta get creative now are you gonna attach a little love letter to a fucking pigeon and you know yeah i'm like 25 what the fuck am i supposed to do google this girl show up at her house like i'm gonna go to jail like christ training order god no i think like if you see someone you're interested in you're supposed to just go up to them and talk to them whether it be at the gym or at your bar Go up and be like, hey, I'm Cody. Are you gay? Do you like girls? Yeah, well, the last time that I did that, it didn't work out. We talked about that on one of our episodes. Oh, man. But so what? Like you said, the worst thing someone could say is no, right? True. I took that L right to the chest. You do. It was that one that we talked about that she was like, oh, she hit on my sister, Amy, and I'm like, what? You're like, well, that's a compliment. That means you have good genetics. Yeah, maybe I'm trying to put them in my I don't know. Yeah. It's too much. Yeah. So, I don't know. Back to the drawing board with my dating life. Yeah. That's okay. It's like what we were talking about. Like, there's also excitement in the unknown. You know? Like, who will she be? I call it anxiety, but, you know. Anxiety. Keeps on trying me.

UNKNOWN: 31:29

No.

SPEAKER_00: 31:29

really though like who will she be what will she look like how much money will she make you know how all the things right just just gotta how many issues will she have what will her mental illness be like just kidding oh man okay well on that note you guys we're gonna just leave it there you guys we're gonna leave it there maybe i'll go on some dates and we'll give you guys some update oh man updates on cody's dates yes that'll be a new segment well we hope you guys enjoyed this episode hopefully it made you made you think made you laugh you know all the things the tear the tear the lesson yeah if you're here for the tear the lesson or both yeah or just to laugh we're here for you yep we're here for you girl all right well that's all we got for this week hope you guys enjoyed it yep we'll see you next week